


Photo Me

by GodAndMonsters



Series: SwanQueen One-Shots [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Eating Disorder, F/F, Swan Queen - Freeform, emma and regina, photoshoot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-06
Packaged: 2019-07-06 15:07:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GodAndMonsters/pseuds/GodAndMonsters
Summary: Just a one-shot, Emma as a model, Regina as a photographer, TW- EATING DISORDER.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TW- Eating disorder

Emma was dead to the camera today, the kind of dead that even photoshop cannot fix. Usually, Regina loved working with her, in fact, working with the model didn’t even feel like working. The camera loved the blonde, hugged her and kissed her with every flash, every click. Usually, a day of a photoshoot with Emma was basically a day off.

Not today. Today the blonde looked like a zombie, so pale, so sad, so dead.  
Not even the thick layer of concealer succeeding in hiding the ugly black bags under her eyes, not even her dress managed to cover her thin, shaking body.

“Everyone out,” the photographer ordered. She needed a minute alone with the blonde, she needed to bring some life into the lifeless model.

As the room cleared out Regina turned off her camera and placed it on the table, she came to sit on the floor near the blonde, a big green screen behind them.

“Regina,” the tired voice whispered her name “is something wrong?”

“You tell me,” Regina whispered, her hand clasping the thin blonde one. “When was the last time you ate?”

“I’m a model,” the blonde said as if Regina needed a reminder to that, the brunette just sighed and palmed her cheek, causing emerald orbs to disappear behind lids. “You need to eat,” she whispered.

“I’m not hungry,” she said, and in some way it was not a lie, Emma forgot long ago what it felt like to be full, so being hungry? It was like an everyday feeling, no, not a feeling, she didn’t feel hungry, she felt normal, being hungry was being normal.

“You know how many times I ate without being hungry?” the brunette chuckled and help the blonde to stand, moving her toward the dining table. “You are,” she laughed, she wanted to say beautiful but the number of times the blonde heard it was so high, it just came out cheap now, maybe even dangerous. To Emma being beautiful was a curse, not the gift they all claimed she got.

“Ugly” Regina said, at last, causing the blonde to look at her in total confusion, she has never been called ugly, I mean yea maybe by other models who’s been jealous but never by someone who actually mattered. “What?” she asked.

“You are ugly today Emma, look at you, you are so sad and lifeless,” her knuckles stroke the dead white cheek “I miss your laugh, your happiness was what made you beautiful,”

“That is,” Emma was cut off by the brunette next move, Regina took the camera from the table and took a picture then show it to the blonde “Look,” she ordered, “What happened to you?” she asked, Emma had been in Europe for the last year and Regina did not get to shoot her for a very long time “You used to be so, breathtaking”, she got her phone out and showed her herself from their last photo shoot.

“I don’t know,” Emma confessed, “It just sort of happened,”

“Fight it,” Regina didn’t asked, she didn’t demand either, she kind of plead, like Emma was worth so much for her, “Get out if you need to,” she said and cupped her cheek again “Maybe it’s enough, maybe you don’t need it anymore,”

“It's all I know,” Emma replied, tears sliding down her cheeks “it’s all I am,”

“No dear” Regina shook her head, refusing to accept the blonde’s words “It’s all you’ve tried, try new stuff, you took some photos with me,” Regina remind her “They were great!”

“I don’t know,” Emma sighed, she’s been modeling since she was ten, she does not know anything else.

“Think about it,” Regina smiled and gave her a slice of an apple, the blonde didn’t even notice she was eating, and that was really Regina’s goal, when the blonde was in deep thoughts she was eating more, and by the look of it, Emma needed it.

“I will,” the blonde smiled and took another slice of an apple.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr, I’m godandmonsters1996 :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

 

“Do you usually bring models to your house?” Emma asked as she walked into the mansion, the walls were decorated with pictures of Regina’s works, Vogue covers she took, projects she managed, Regina Mills was very famous in the industry and by looking at her walls she could see why.

 

“Sometimes,” Regina shrugged and went to fetch them both a glass of her famous apple cider, she gestured for the blonde to sit down on the couch while she set both of the cups on the table in front of them.“So, tell me how was Europe?” she asked, her eyes fixed on the blonde beside her, Emma looked pale and sick and now, when she was bare from the thick layer of makeup, she looked even more dead.

 

“Full of work,” Emma whispered, a blush of shame covered her cheeks when she noticed Regina eyes dancing on her, she could almost feel the brunette concern rising up with every glance she took. “I almost didn’t come back,”

 

“Oh,” Regina seemed to be awake from her haze when she heard that, Emma almost didn’t come back. Her heart clenched with those words. “Wha-Why, did you come back?” she stammered, the confidence is gone and all that was left were her raw concern and hurt, no matter what Emma response would be, it will be bittersweet.

 

Emma pursed her lips, trying to think of a way to answer without revealing too much, but enough, enough to let Regina in, because for some reason, Regina was the only person she wanted to let in on this case, maybe because Regina always made her feel so comfortable, whenever she photographed her she made sure Emma was good and happy, that nothing wasn’t too much. She was the only one who bothered, the others, they just took, took her beauty, her youth, took it and sell it.

 

And when she was broken, when she finally hit rock bottom, they took more until they left.

 

“It was too much,” she confessed, biting her lower lips, preventing herself from saying something that will make Regina leave too.

 

“Even you can not fool death forever,” Regina whispered, her shaking hand making her way toward the blonde’s thin, white cheek. Her thumb stroking the cold skin. “What happened to you?” It came out shaking, the voice quivered and Emma’s body froze when she noticed the lonely tear, sliding down Regina’s olive cheek.

 

“Don’t cry,” she whispered, wiping the tear with her index finger. “Please, don’t cry”

 

Regina cleared her throat, her palm still on Emma’s cheeks and she forced herself to take a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, her thumb resuming her stroking on porcelain skin, “It’s too much,” her wet voice whispered Emma’s words back at her.

 

“I’m ok,” Emma lied, it was so easy to deny her condition, so easy to fake a smile, to let the emptiness in her stomach fill her, to drink a drop of juice just a second before she is going to faint. It was so easy, so easy that she almost believed to her own lies.

 

“Don’t lie,” Regina removed her hand and Emma felt it, she felt it more than the aching in her stomach, more than the dizziness in her head. “Not to me,” she didn’t know why she added that last part after all she and Emma were nothing, just a model and a photographer, they were colleagues at best.

 

“Ok,” Emma nodded, clasping her fingers with the brunette’s “I’m not ok,” she whispered and she could feel Regina’s sighed as well as hear it, somehow it hurt more hurting the photographer than it hurt hurting herself.

 

“I know,” Regina whispered, “Are you hungry?” she asked and searched the emerald orbs of the blonde, and somehow, even her eyes looked paler now. “When was the last time you ate?”

 

“Please,” Emma closed her eyes, looking into deep brown orbs, seeing the pain and concern in Regina’s eyes, it pained her so much. “Please don’t ask me that,”

 

Regina squeezed the fingers in her grasp and nodded, “Well,” she chuckled and rose from the couch, painfully letting go from the warmth of Emma’s fingers, “I’m hungry,” she walked to the kitchen, not forcing Emma to follow, but leaving the door open in case she will.

 

She didn’t. Regina brought a bowl of fruits and put it on the table, reaching for a grape as she claimed her spot beside the blonde again. “Have you thought about what I told you?”

 

“About leaving modeling?” she chuckled “You know I can never do that,” she looked at her fingers, playing with them on her lap nervously, “It’s who I am,”

 

“Emma-“ Regina tried to object her statement but Emma cut her off quickly, raising her head to lock their gazes.

 

“It is who I am, even if I can be more, modeling was and still is what I’m doing best, I excel at it” she took a deep breath before she continued, her gaze back at her fingers. “And for a very long time, I enjoyed it too,”

 

“But you're not anymore, are you?” the brunette tilted her head, trying to catch the blonde’s gaze with no success. “are you?” she urged Emma to answer.

 

“No,” she breathed, “But I can, I know I can,”

 

“And until then?” Regina whispered “You will starve yourself as a punishment?,” ‘I will not allow it,’ Regina wanted to say, but she couldn’t, she was not allowed to.

 

“It’s not like that,” the blonde took a breath, forcing the frustration out of her, Regina meant well, she knew it, but the brunette didn’t understand, no one did, not even Emma most of the time.

“I can do better,” she mumbled.

 

“It’s not about doing better!” the brunette voice was stern “It’s not about being perfect, It’s not about getting another job or looking pretty, It’s about you!” she was panting now, her breath was shallow and angry, her eyes wide and begging, begging for Emma to see the truth, to see herself.

 

But Emma didn’t, Emma saw what they all saw, what they all wanted, what the year in Europe made her see clearer than ever. She saw a product.

 

“Maybe,” she said, not convincing even herself “Maybe someday.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can find me on tumblr, I’m godandmonsters1996 :)


End file.
